Colbert didn’t stop at the Koch Brothers. Continuing with his commentary at the event, in front of the people he was talking about, here are his remarks directed at another TIME 100 dishonoree, Cardinal Dolan of New York, a famous politician.
Also, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke is here tonight. Also an instant, instant feminist icon. Famously tested, testified before Congress, that Georgetown, a Catholic institution,should be required to provide insurance coverage for her birth control.
Now, TIME 100 honoree, his eminence Timothy Cardinal Dolan disagrees — sir, lovely to see you again.
Of course, now some, some critics have said in response to this that if the Catholic church’s insurance does not cover Sandra Fluke’s birth control, it shouldn’t cover Cardinal Dolan’s Viagra.
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, that’s called celibacy plus. That’s how the pros do it.
Because chastity is one thing, but it shows true commitment to uphold your vows when you are sporting a crook you could hang a miter on. Oh, wow, see you at mass on Sunday, sir?
I hope he doesn’t become Pope.
I’m a Catholic, it’s okay. I go to confession, it will be fine. Thank you.
…and he closed with this gem:
But perhaps the most influential person on the list is here, Sara Blakely. The inventor of the Spanx. Give it up.
No one, no one has done more to control women’s bodies, except maybe Cardinal Dolan.
Cardinal, congratulations, sir, you are a feminist icon.